I found a meme to do. I just had to do it. :)
It asked what my perfect mate would be. I just couldn't pass that one up. She sits right over there <-----. :)
Then we did some painting of crafts. Mine didn't turn out all that great. But, Marli's turned out awesome. :)
I did do a hobby that I think that I excell at. I cooked dinner. :)
It is about time. SSI FINALLY approved the little woman for disability. We have been trying to get this for 2 years. But, we finally did it. I guess that attack of pnuemonia back in January actually did some good. I got her to go to the doctor quite a bit, and with all the stuff that the doctors have put in, they think that she should probably qualify. Hello!!! She can barely walk to the living room from the bed room and you guess that she qualifies. I mean I understand that you don't just want to give it to everyone that applies. And, I understand that because of the Republicans, there isn't much money in social security. But, you can give it to people that need it. And, besides from day one we said that all we wanted was a medical card. If they want to give us more, GREAT, but all we needed was the medical card. Sometimes I think that other countries have the right of it. EVERYONE should receive proper medical care whether they can pay for it or not.
That is my 2 cents. :)
My wife's mom did it to her again. She says that she got leg poisoning. But, she went out yesterday to a wedding and a reception. We were planning on taking her out to eat and then to Wal-Mart today. My wife predicted that she would find some way to back out of it. Well, she did.
My wife's mom keeps on hurting her over and over again. I want to keep them having a relationship, but I don't like seeing her hurt. I guess I have always been a momma's boy. Speaking of which, I need to call my mom. But, that is beside the point. I know that she does love her mom very dearly. When her mom hurts her, I get flustered. Here I am pushing her to be with her mom, then boom her mom hurts her again. What do I do??? Suddenly do a complete change, or keep on pushing?? What I should do is the change. What I end up doing is the pushing. At least until I can get my mind reset. I don't deal real well with sudden changes with my wife. At work if there is a sudden change, I don't have to change my mind set, I just go do what needs done. At home, if there is a sudden change, there is nothing to be done. I have to change my mindset. It is difficult. Now, don't get me wrong. Work is challenging mentally. I have to constantly think of new ways to give pills, get this person into the shower, deal with that psycho family member, deal with this nice family member that never asks for anything unless her mom/dad needs something.... All of this stuff you have to think about. But, I can keep one thing in mind. The rules for resident rights. At home, I am torn. There aren't any rules to live by. Keep the house tidy, do the dishes, ... Stuff like that has no rules. I know what part of it is. My wife has depression. I personnally don't have it, so there is no way that I can understand it. I know that when she is depressed, I get upset. Not upset and yelling and hitting and that type of stuff, but upset for her. Although she doesn't believe it, she is everything to me. I wouldn't know what to do without her. I love her more than life itself. I would trade bodies with her in a heart beat, just to give her a break. I guess I just don't know how to deal with her getting hurt, because it affects me so profoundly. Is that being selfish??? I shouldn't let it effect me until I can get her passed whatever it is that is depressing her. I try to look at optimisitic things. Like maybe her mom really does have a problem as to why she went out yesterday, but can't go out today.
But, those type of things aren't what my wife needs to hear. She needs to hear me say, "Well, let's just go out ourselves and forget about her. She isn't worth it anyway."
I do love you honey. I hate seeing your mom or anyone hurt you. I just want to help.
*hugs*
I don't mean to. I just get an idea in my head, "my teeth into something", and I can't let it go. :(
This is not all bad, but when you are trying to get someone to like an idea and do something about it, you should let them think on it. Not shove it down their throats all the time. I can't seem to do that part though. I get ideas stuck and just keep pushing. *shrug*
I don't know when I started this. I think I used to listen to other people better. I guess I just try to make people happy, and when I hear an idea that I think will make everyone happy, I go with it. Even if it is one of those passing ideas that no one is sure that they really want to do. :)
My latest bulldogging is trying to find and get my wife to exercise. Instead of being encouraging like I should be. I guess I am pushing too hard. I noticed this when she said that we oughta go to bed earlier but she enjoys that time when I get home where we can both wind down and talk about our days. I said that we can exercise at night then. I don't know how many of you see the problem with this. We are going to exercise and get our blood pumping while we wind down??? I am not sure that is possible. :)
I know what it is though. I don't want to lose her. Exercise may not be the answer, but it is the best one that I have come up with so far. *shrug*
I am going to get her some OJ and offer her some fruit. If you have any suggestions on how to get rid of my bulldoggedness, please let me know. :)
I have been thinking about how to get my wife and I more active. I haven't expressed myself really well about how scared I am about losing her to her. I guess it just scares me too much. I did talk to her about maybe getting up earlier and trying to do some exercising. Since she is overweight, I couldn't figure out how to do this. You know do an aerobic exercise while sitting. I went looking for some ideas. Most of the ideas that I came across are books for 19.95 on up to 49.95. Although I am sure they have what I need, I don't have what they need for me to get them. *chuckle*
I did find about 4 or 5 websites with different ideas on how to exercise while sitting. I just need to get my wife to start wanting to do them. One website says that you get more out of exercise if you do it for short periods of time, but a couple times a day. Like do an aerobic exercise for 10 minutes 4 times a day as apposed to an aerobic exercise for 40 minutes 1 time a day. Granted the aerobic exercises are really limited while sitting. I only remember one off the top of my head. But, stretching is great also. There were a couple different ways to build muscle while sitting. :)
I know that my wife got upset at me because I told some of my friends her weight. But, that is what put me into super worry. I was scared in Jan when she had pneumonia, frightened when she ended up with bronchitis after that, scared pottyless when her gall bladder acted up and she was admitted to the hospital. All those added with finally finding out how much she really weighs has my stomach turned into knots. She has always been guessing what I thought was a high number. It turns out that she was a lot closer to the mark. :(
I have thought about like writing Oprah or Dr. Phil. But, I know that she would kill me for that. But, then the question is, even though she would hate me, would it be worth it in the long run to have her with me. I think it is. I still am undecided about those 2 though. Maybe Richard Simmons would like a try at her. He has been there and has a sense of humor to keep her motivated and happy. :)
I just don't know what to do. Anybody have a Fairy Godmother that can just wave her wand and make her healthier.
As most of you know, I work in the nursing profession. This means that I work with about 95% females, as far as other staff members go. If you are male, and want to know how the female mind actually works, I suggest that you do this job. And, this is the hard part for most of you men, instead of hitting on them, actually listen to what they have to say. :)
Today is a perfect example of this. I don't remember how we got on this conversation, but one of the girls went out partying last night and low and behold got drunk. Now, this is not something that should amaze you, but in her drunken stupor she told these guys that she wanted some guy to go down on her and when she gets off, that be it. The guys said that idea is just wrong. To which point she pointed out to them that they have done that with women. Too which they didn't have a response because it was the truth. Not to get to personal, but they should have known that you shouldn't leave your partner...unsatisfied. Maybe that is why I am still happily married. But, I digress. And, just got smacked by my wife. :)
This conversation shouldn't amaze any of you. If it does, you should NOT read any farther because it sparked about a 25 minute male bashing. They started telling stories about their friends' boyfriends and how they think that they are "the shit" when they have NEVER satisfied their girlfriends. One of the girls lives in a sorority, so you know she has a lot of stories. I guess one of the girls has this boyfriend that is literally a 2 minute wonder. Of course, he was described as he rocks the bed for about 2 minutes and then his girlfriend wonders what he was doing. This guy hits on all the other girls in sorority and tries to tell them how he keeps his "women" satisfied. All of the other girls are too busy giggling to even think about taking him up on his offer. :)
This also brings a different conversation to mind. Girls do make booty calls. The '90s women, or is it the 21st century women, feel that they should have all the rights that men do. Now, I agree with this. I actually think that they should have more just because they give birth. Can you see a guy giving birth??? They would whine through the whole thing. But, you KNOW that there would be better pain medicine, if not just an easier way to have kids. But, I digress. If you find out that a woman does have a couple men, don't go calling her names, because you know as well as I do that if a male friend of yours does that, you are going to say alright dude.
Where was I. Oh yeah, the way that women think. I have found out that women talk about a lot of the things that guys do. I mean I know of about 3 women that have had boob jobs, and 4 others that want to get them. Also, about 7 others that are happy with what they have. I also know how women want to be treated equal, given the same rights and responsibilities that men have. My wife is one of the best mechanics that I know. When she tells a mechanic what is wrong with her car, they say, "yeah right" and try to figure it out themselves. When they are done being idiots, they find out that she was right and they just did a couple hundred dollars worth of work that she won't pay for because the problem was the last thing that they fixed and the only thing wrong with the car. And, if they argue with her, she proves that everything else they did was still working. :)
I think I am starting to ramble so I will leave you with this. If your woman tells you that you are the best lover she has ever had, before your ego gets too big, remember that "girls lie too". :)
You know some humans aren't very humane. The other night, my wife and I go out to Wal-Mart. Now, most of you know that she has to go in a wheel chair. No big deal. She has someone to push the wheelchair so she doesn't use the carts that they have there. She thinks that they should be used by, "people that are handicapped". Although I have thought that this was kind of humourous being that she has to use a wheelchair, but I also think that she has a point. She has someone to help her and there are some people that don't have that. But, the humourous part is the people that she thinks are handicapped. They are the people with the crutches and canes. If you are in a wheelchair, she doesn't see why you need to leave yours for theirs. But, I have gotten off track. There was this family of 4. A mom, a dad, and 2 young children. You know the size that should be riding in the child seat of a shopping cart. Now the dad is the bigger of the 2 people. He was like 5'7"-5'8" and probably weighed all of 125 soaking wet. The mom was this tiny little thing. Neither one of them had any crutches, they both looked intelligent. Both wore tiny sandals and their feet looked perfectly formed. This family of 4 decided to use TWO of the electric carts that Wal-Mart keeps for people who need help getting around the store. Their children sat on their laps, the floorboard, the basket, hanging on to the back of the seat....basically wherever they darn well wanted to that wasn't walking. The older of the 2 kids was 3 maybe 4. When we left, there was a guy coming in on crutches. Had a foot in a cast. Were there any carts for him??? Not on that door. So, he grabs a cart and starts hopping. All because these 2 humans couldn't be humane and leave the carts for someone that actually needed it.
Alright, we got back from the first vacation that my wife and I have had together, ever. :)
Turns out that we should have relaxed and not gone on it, but she didn't want anything to ruin this weekend. I am glad that we went. I am not sure if the new pain is from the trip or if it would have happened anyway. Other than sleeping in strange beds and doing some swimming, she didn't exert herself any more than usual. Well, I guess she was out in the high ninety low 100 degree weather for extended periods of time. (She doesn't deal with heat that well) Anywho, we get back and she has a new pain in her OTHER side. We went to her doctor for the pain in her side and because she thought that she broke her foot. Well, the foot isn't broke and the x-rays can't find anything else wrong with it, so she has some "soft tissue" damage. I think that means that she bruised it. *shrug*
This doctor doesn't want to do anything about the abdomen. She didn't want to go against what the surgeon would prescribe, but she also didn't tell us that we had to talk with the surgeon ourselves. I mean if you aren't going to do anything about something, tell us that you aren't going to do anything so that we can do it ourselves. Well, I called the surgeon and made an apointment, but my wife got EXTREMELY nauseaous a while before the appt, so she ended up not going. I am going to have to call him in the morning and set up another appt. And, tell them that she does have nausea that isn't because of the pain.
On the brightside, I got my W-2. So, I can turn in the rest of my financial aid stuff. I got audited by the school for financial aid. :)
What a week. I don't know where to start much less stop. I am so scared. I don't want to lose my wife. She gave me a scare last Thursday. She was in pain. I mean a LOT of pain. I mean she deals with so much pain every day of her life. This was so severe pain that she actually went to ER. It turns out that she has a problem with her gall bladder. She has a flair up a couple times a year. The surgeon that looked at her told the social worker to go talk with her because she needs a bunch of work done and we don't have a lot of money. But, I would sell myself into slavery to make sure that she is with me. I know I sound pathetic, but I am whipped. I don't even want to think of being without her. I mentioned this to a friend and she told me that she knew EXACTLY what I would do without her. I would be a complete basket case for the rest of my life. I think that she was probably right. Well, anyway, after we got out of the hospital, instead of taking things easy like she was supposed to, she didn't want to ruin the rest of our weekend since we had planned this for a while and it was the first vacation that we could afford to take. This morning, she was hurting VERY badly. After not giving herself any time to recover and using her C-Pap, she couldn't move this morning. She "wanted to make sure that it was the C-Pap". I should have put my foot down and said that we are going to the hospital. I just don't want to get her upset, so I didn't. I can't stand up to anyone, ESPECIALLY her. Talk about a basket case. :)
She even talked me out of making her go to her doctor's appointment today. I did reschedule it for tomorrow. I am going to try to make sure that they do the blood work that was ordered for her. The lady that she sees is back from vacation so I am pretty sure I can get that done. :)
I wish I knew what it was like to have a back bone. I don't push because I can see how much it hurts at the time. She gets worse because I can't stand that pain, so next time it is even harder because she hurts more. And, on top of all of that, I upset her because it is like I don't want her to get better because I don't push. And, that is the exact opposite of what I really want. I get so frustrated.
No wonder one of my best friends is constantly lecturing me about being such a wimp where my wife is concerned. I mean at work, I am basically in charge of wherever they put me. CMA's are in charge of each court with the nurse overlooking 3. I usually get put on 2 courts. I had 3 when I had to work with lazy nurses. So, if I ask someone to do something, they do it. If they don't, I am the one that has to guide them in the right direction. And, I don't think twice about getting people to do what they are supposed to do. No wonder my wife says that work is first in my life. I will make people do things that is for the good of the residents, but I can't make my wife do anything. I just don't know what to do any more. :(
I love her so much. I just don't know what to do. :(
I love you Marli. *hugs*
My wife was very upset with me this morning. As some of you may know, she wears a c-pap machine at night to help her with her sleep apnea. One problem with this is it makes her side start hurting. Last night she took off the c-pap machine because her side was hurting. I didn't realize this. She kept on having to sit up during the night. I put it on her after a couple of hours of her having to sit up. This morning, she ripped it off, and checked it for any demonic possession. She thought about it and came to the conclusion that the c-pap wasn't possessed. I was. :)
Let me give you a little background. My wife has some health problems. One of the obvious ones is her weight. Her weight is causing trouble breathing, moving, and a couple other things.
I am afraid of losing her. She means so much to me. She is only getting worse. She can't exercise very much. The other night she suggested a surgery. She has done some looking into gastric bypass. Now, the operation is neither here nor there. The possible outcomes of the surgery is what scares me. The best is that the surgery is a success and she starts losing the weight. I know that with modern medicine where it is today, especially with me being in the nursing field.
Now, I am going to be selfish and stupid. :)
The main reason that I am scared is that the surgery is a huge success and she loses all the weight. She returns to college. (Not being selfish yet) She makes friends with better looking guys and leaves me. (Now isn't that selfish??) I mean she had boyfriend's before she met me. She even dated people after we met. She picked me out of all of them. I am just being an insecure little snot.
I guess I just love her so much that I can't imagine my life without her. :)